4  Duped In Paradise by Andy Wilkinson

            “Hey, Mohammed?”

            “Yes, Bubba.”

            “I been meanin’ to ask you about them suicide bombers your folks keep sending out to blow people up.”

            “Those aren’t my folks, Bubba, they’re radicals. You know that.”

            “Oh yeah, sorry. Anyway, is it true they think that if they die killing infidels they go straight to Paradise and get seventy-two virgins?”

            “Yes, that is what they believe.”

            “So what do they do with them when they ain’t virgins no more?”

            “I’m not sure what you mean. I suppose they will continue to live happily in Paradise together.”

            “Well, that’s kinda hard to believe.”

            “What do you mean, Bubba?”

            “See … I have to live with just one that ain’t a virgin no more, and sometimes I cain’t hardly stand to be in the same house with her. But seventy-two … oh, man.”

            Mohammed groaned and said, “Bubba, what are you getting at?”

            “The way I see it, them suicide bombers’ve been tricked so they’ll go explode theirselves in a crowd of people. What really happens after they’re dead is they go through their seventy-two virgins, and things start to get real, and then the poor bastards realize that what they thought was Paradise is really that other place.”

            Mohammed held his face in his hands and rubbed his temples. Bubba noticed he did this a lot when they were together.

            “Bubba, you are giving me a headache. Let’s go get a beer.”

            “Muslims don’t drink, Mohammed, remember.”